A young friend said something that I considered an eye-opener!
What led to the interaction was a blog link she sent to me, in which a popular influencer’s husband was being called out on social media by young girls, who claimed that he was fond of asking them to bring along their friends for a threesome sexual experience with him. And he ends up not paying them for their “services”. A picture of his sleeping self after the act was attached to the story, as well as a threat to his biological ‘’instrument’’.
Can some men ever stop embarrassing their wives?
When I told my young friend that I see men who are into threesomes as depraved minds, her response was, “Why? This is no longer a big deal. You will be amazed at how common this (threesome) is among our men.”
I can’t imagine the state of mind of many wives coming across these stories. Some are probably looking at their husbands now and wondering if threesome is also his thing out there!
Anyway, the last bit of her submission brought two incidents to mind.
One was the story of a young wife who reached out to me recently.
Her marriage is troubled, and they have separated.
She told me that her husband often said she’s not making efforts to spice up their marriage by bringing along her friends to join in their bedroom activities. That marriage is about three years old.
The second story was sent by another lady a few years back.
She recounted how she struggled to move on from her benefactor, whose idea of a good time was to have her (his supposed girlfriend) select different young ladies for their regular weekend getaways from Lagos to his hometown.
According to her, he wanted a different lady every time they planned a rendezvous.
She said that the reason she struggled to break free from him was that he was very generous to her, but that at some point, she began to resent the whole setting.
I am not here to sermonise to anyone about their sexual choices, but I tell people to be true to their values all the time. If it insults your dignity, nothing justifies your participation in it.
Someone I know was recently divorced from the husband who left her for a younger lady.
Part of her pain was how much she bent backwards to keep him, including letting him perform anal sex on her.
Two things that her pain has taught me…
Never compromise on what you consider insulting to your dignity.
You do not “keep” anybody by leaving your dignity behind.
Most men are yet to realise that what feeds the pain, bitterness and anger of some women when a relationship ends are the twisted sexual practices they subjected those women to.
The easiest way to know you should not be a part of any setting is if it leaves your dignity in tatters.
If it does not go down well with you, don’t do it to keep or please anybody.
You will not succeed because there’s a void that you, in all your wonderfulness, cannot fill in anybody who is actively feeding their lasciviousness.
It is a different thing, though, if a sexual practice is also your thing.
I am aware that if it is not freaky and kinky, some ladies would rather find the act boring.
That is, the man will bore them to death with his “holy-do”.
If a man is not setting their mind/body on fire with ‘’naughty doings’’, he is not for them.
Each to their own!
Just make sure that what anybody is subjecting you to sexually is what you want and also enjoy.
If money or “keeping them” is always the motivation, your mental health may not thank you for it in the long run.
Can you live with yourself when the chips are down?
I have also heard that ‘’baby, moan for me’’ is the bedroom anthem of some men!
I am tempted to ask such men this question… are you doing the needful, and she is not moaning already?
Isn’t a moan what your bedroom know-how can naturally elicit in a woman?
If she is not already doing so without you asking her to, it means that your efforts are not sufficient.
It’s really this simple!
Therefore, the moaning she is doing because you asked her to is most likely for your benefit.
It is not coming from where it is supposed to emanate from.
Men should suspect any woman that begins to moan because they asked her to. She’s obviously faking it.
Dear men, stop telling a woman to moan for you.
Make her do it if the sound is that melodious to your ears.
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