A blog posted the video of a lady (probably in her early 40s) some months back. She was dancing in that video, and it’s said to be the last post she made on social media before she died. She was described as a “celebrity stylist” in Lagos.
I went to the comment section, and “my people” (comments) delivered. A few comments said that she had been living with HIV/AIDS for a while, and that she slept and didn’t wake up.
I always say that if your story ever makes it to the blogs, some of the anonymous comments will make you realise that not everyone who surrounds you should have been brought closer.
Back to the lady in the video… I searched for her profile on social media, and a lot began to pull at my heartstrings. Dancing videos. Fully made-up face. Designer wears from head to toe. A face behind sunglasses.
All I saw was an attempt to give the world a happy face by someone who was falling apart within. I applauded her courage!
Only God understands the sadness cum loneliness of a medical report that you cannot even get yourself to seek support for openly… lest the tongues wag loud.
Her health status was probably what she confided in one or two persons she brought closer, and they felt it was fun to inform the world.
People are brave enough to face whatever befalls them, but what breaks them more than whatever they are grappling with is the disposition of other people.
Hands that should hold them tighter suddenly leave them in the cold. And some of these hands don’t just leave you in peace; they do it savagely.
If you know the level of mental anguish people are grappling with because they want to talk to a friend but can’t get themselves to open up, lest betrayal perpetuates… You will never again run with your mouth on people’s challenges. People are dying in silence, and we are quickening their demise by all that tale-bearing.
The worst thing about most of us is that we don’t know how to hold people’s hands in their trying times. That’s when we want to abandon them, abuse them, blackmail them, exploit them, manipulate them, or spread rumours.
I do not blame people who guard their space jealously. Of what use is it to be surrounded by people that you can’t even get yourself to drop the mask with?
Human beings that you can’t collapse on vulnerably, and they will pick you up with compassion! Observing rich people closely will make you understand that there’s a certain sadness that comes with knowing that everyone who surrounds you is there for the cake. And nothing more.
May this be a call for sober reflection. If you are incapable of bringing graciousness to people who bring you close, leave them in peace. Don’t become the reason they would want to “sleep and not wake up.”
Always understand that life is also testing us through the circumstances of others. And if you keep failing to show up with a satisfactory measure of compassion, you will be put through a similar or even worse experience… just so you can have a taste of your own medicine.
Whenever you come across someone grappling with any form of challenges, hardship, ill health, or troubled behaviour, the most important thing to understand is that the encounter or setting is not really about them, but life is giving you an opportunity to give the best of yourself in that setting.
In such circumstances, always imagine that life is observing with folded arms to see what you would rather do. So, would you rather bring on board compassion, condemnation, indifference, or judgement?
I don’t know why the Biblical declaration of “whatever a man sows is what he will reap” sounds like an empty cliché to us. But that is simply life in a nutshell! Life just finds a way to revisit our reality according to how we have responded to the reality of those who have crossed our path.
Whoever understands this bit about life knows that whatever unpleasant phases others might be going through is a call for us to step forward in humanity, or at least peacefully keep our distance, as long as you will be okay with others keeping their distance when they could be offering you support if the tables turn.
Never conclude that what another is going through can never happen to you. In fact, if you have ever thought along this line, then you have understood nothing about life. Life turns tables at will. And the side of that table you could find yourself facing is what only God knows.
Just take it that life knows what it’s doing, because it truly does!
Read the full article here
