‘Marital Therapist’ questions Nigeria's obsession with marriage

Cast: Toyin Abraham, Wole Ojo, Temitope Aremu

Director: Titi Jeje

Writer: Kenny George, Toyin Abraham

Producer: Toyin Abraham

Nigerian society is fixated on weddings and marriage. There could be an asteroid falling on earth, about to obliterate us all, and we would keep selling asoebi and cooking party rice because it’s not over till it’s over, not for my family and me, and other such platitudes that define us.

Our over-the-top celebrations have gained notoriety to the extent that “Nigerian wedding” has become a cultural phenomenon, and foreigners express how much they want to attend one.

With this backdrop, it is easy to understand why Nollywood has a fixation on making relationship movies.

I do not have access to any official statistics to prove this. Still, my observation is that more than half of the movies churned out weekly revolve around weddings, relationships and marriage.

Collective obsession

To buttress this, one of the biggest movies in Nigeria to date is The Wedding Party (2016), directed by Kemi Adetiba.

More recently, the entire country was swept into a frenzy by Omoni Oboli’s Love In Every Word. The clamour from millions of fans for a sequel depicting the lead actors’ wedding ceremony was instantaneous. Why? Because Nigerians live for a wedding ceremony. We are fanatical about wedding content. It is our World Cup. Our Super Bowl. Our moon landing. The most momentous thing we do. Nothing must stand in the way of us and our weddings.

It is with this same attitude that we approach matrimony. Marriage is an institution we greatly revere. A married couple is automatically cloaked with the toga of elevated status and respect.

Because of this, most ladies love nothing more than being called ‘Mrs. Their husbands could be abdicating their financial responsibilities, pounding them weekly like fufu, inattentive or verbally abusive, as long as they have entered into the exclusive circle that only wives inhabit, they bear domestic abuse without a squeak.

Fortunately, with the rise of education and female empowerment, more and more women have realised that marriage is not a do-or-die affair. Many women have been able to unshackle themselves from societal dictates, recognise that their lives matter, and make decisions that benefit them in the long run. This is the message this movie hopes to pass.

Plot

The movie explores domestic violence, the different forms in which it occurs and the fallouts that often arise from it. It also shines a light on professional counselling for victims of abuse and how it can help them overcome it.

In the beginning, we see Joke (Temitope Aremu) waiting for her husband, Kolapo (Wole Ojo), to get home. He comes home in the morning, unapologetic and defiant about how his actions kept his wife wide awake and worried. Throughout the movie, we see the push-and-pull dynamic that abusers use on their victims at play.

One day, he is nice and loving, the next, he morphs into the devil. He sends his wife away from the house, beats her, uses strong language on her, but always comes back to beg forgiveness. His wife, Joke, is ever ready to let go of her pain because of her love for him.

During one of these abusive episodes, she meets a marriage therapist( Toyin Abraham), an advocate against abusive marriages. She does her best to educate herself on the many forms of domestic abuse. The therapist also offers her a haven and encourages her to leave, but she cannot bring herself to. As the story continues, a message on Kolapo’s phone reveals a shocking secret that leaves her reeling.

Review

Toyin Abraham climbs her soapbox for this one. She takes on the role of big sister, self-proclaimed therapist/ legal adviser.

In this country, this role is traditionally reserved for parents, trusted mentors, and religious rulers, so it’s important to shed more light on seeking professional help to heal relationship rifts, as this dispels any stigma attached to it. Apart from stigma, some of this advice is given with heavy bias and ends up harming the woman.

However, Nollywood filmmakers need to embrace greater accuracy in their depictions of certain careers. Marriage Therapists undergo rigorous training before they qualify as therapists. It is not something you can make yourself, as Toyin’s character declares in the movie.

Apart from that, the story is simple. It attempts to introduce a twist at the end, but it falls flat because it is quite fantastical.

Wole Ojo is on form as the abusive husband. His was the only standout performance.

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The movie is not great, but the story is relevant. The message is unambiguous. The set is lovely, but because the colour schemes and lighting are the same in every scene, it becomes a bit confusing.

I love how our local languages are now infused into English-language movies. Unfortunately, the captions were difficult to decipher. I kept squinting to read, but at some point, I had to give up altogether.