Brethren, the situation is urgent. The church in our nation is grappling with serious sexual scandals involving individuals at various levels, members, ministry workers, branch pastors, and even many church leaders who are now overshadowed by persistent allegations. I am not referring to sincere believers who once stumbled but have since repented. Rather, I speak of those who have developed patterns of predatory behaviour, harming many young people while being shielded by those who flatter or depend on them.
Some engage in these acts as part of misguided spiritual pursuits. Others are trapped by unchecked desires, nurtured by a lack of genuine discipleship within our assemblies. My heart remains particularly sensitive to the abuse of vulnerable people, and regrettably, the number of current cases is far greater than I can publicly disclose. Because of the immense sensitivity of this matter, I must communicate with great caution, wisdom, and love, especially for the sake of younger believers and to uphold the dignity of the body of Christ.
“But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints.” — Ephesians 5:3
A dear woman of God recently asked why I neither appeared surprised nor shaken when she shared a troubling scandal with me. My calm response was not the result of diminished humanity or weakened spirituality. Rather, after years of witnessing numerous high‑profile scandals, many of which were never adequately addressed by church leadership, I have learned to remain in the place of teaching the truth and interceding for the culprits and victims.
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4)
I cannot exhaust myself over situations where some no longer regard sin as sin, or where followers lack the moral compass to lovingly and honourably hold their leaders accountable. The enemy’s assault on the moral fabric of the church is multidimensional, but one of the most devastating dimensions is the rising tide of sexual scandals, which from a human standpoint appears increasingly irredeemable.
On one side, the weakening of the marriage institution has led some to promote divorce and even polygamy within the church as supposed solutions to the growing problem of sexual immorality. On the other side, moral restraint, even among pastors and leaders, continues to crumble, resulting in numerous scandals that many churches seem to have normalised.
Yet the root of this among married believers can be traced to our distorted understanding of what Christian marriage truly represents, especially in a culture that is increasingly hostile to Scripture. A lack of clarity about the sacred nature of marriage, the values that uphold it, and the character required to sustain it has become one of the strongest triggers of infidelity among both married believers and the clergy.
Let’s therefore lay the foundation for a Christian marriage.
What Is a Christian Marriage?
The foundation of anything determines everything. Whether one is constructing a physical structure or establishing a long‑term relationship, the underlying base shapes how the entire system will function, endure, and thrive. Just as a house requires a meticulously planned foundation, complete with architecture, materials, labour, and proper governance, so also every institution that is meant to work well and last must derive its “success DNA” from its foundation.
Marriage is no exception. And because man is not the foundation of marriage, God is, the only sustainable template for marriage is what the Manufacturer Himself prescribes. Whatever the Creator and owner of marriage says becomes the blueprint for building and sustaining it. These foundational principles are not culturally subjective; they are universal and binding on everyone. However, in this teaching, we examine these principles specifically from a Christo‑centric standpoint.
Foundational Principles of a Christo-centric Marriage
A Christian marriage is not a social contract; it is a covenant. Unlike a contract that can be terminated at will, a covenant cannot be broken except on clear biblical grounds, infidelity or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:15; Ephesians 5:21). Everything about Christian marriage flows from this covenantal perspective.
A marriage between two believers must function according to key principles:
- Marriage must be between two believers (2 Corinthians 6:14).
- Marital intimacy must be exclusive, no believer has permission to engage in sexual pleasure with anyone other than their spouse (Hebrews 13:4).
- Headship and submission follow divine order, not cultural opinion. The man is the head of the wife, not by domination, but by sacrificial, unconditional love (Ephesians 5:23). Likewise, the wife’s submission is not coercive or manipulative; it is a voluntary, love‑based posture expressed with humility and modelled after Christ.
- A believer must marry according to God’s will. Not every Christian fits your God ordained purpose.
To function effectively under these principles, believers require enablers, what Scripture calls the fruit of the Spirit: love, patience, self‑control, humility, endurance, faithfulness, and others (Galatians 5:22). These values empower spouses to love, submit, practice godly headship, resist temptation, and resolve conflict.
Thus, the foundational principles of Christian marriage are universal truths validated by the founder of the marriage institution. Truth must be universal and cross‑cultural. This means that a believer who relocates from Ghana to Italy does not adopt new marital values. Culture does not shape Scripture; Scripture shapes culture.
Ayo Akerele is the senior pastor of Rhema Assembly and the founder of the Voice of the Watchmen Ministries in Ontario, Canada. He can be reached through [email protected]. You can connect with him on: YouTube: @VoiceoftheWatchmen, TikTok: @drayoakerele, Instagram: @drayoakerele, Facebook: @Ayo Akerele
